HR is Not Your Friend.
I know this may sound harsh, but it is better you learn this now.
Why So Dramatic?
HR works for your employer. Their goal is to protect the employer – not you. So you need be smart when it comes to what you say and do with HR.
But HR Listens to Everything I Have to Say, So Why Wouldn’t I Be Open With HR?
HR is not your therapist. Those nice people in HR are trained to be good listeners, so that they can make an assessment of workplace problems and use this information to protect the company. Any help you get from HR is incidental – their sole function is to protect the company. Oftentimes, your conversations wtih HR, even your sincere efforts to help, will result in getting you fired.
Doesn’t Everything I tell HR Stay With HR?
No! It could go to legal, it can go to other employees. HR is not legally obligated to maintain your confidence. And, even if they do, it stays in HR’s files and can be referred to should any issues arise with your employment. If you want someone to keep your secrets, tell a friend – HR is not your friend.
HR does not have an obligation to keep things you tell HR confidential from certain people. If you tell HR you think your boss is unfair, your co-workers are incompetent, and that the employer is cheap, HR will take note of that information, but it may not change any of the things you don’t like, it may just reflect poorly on you should any issues arise in the course of your employment.
“Tip: If you want to make a complaint to HR, put it in writing. Be clear what you are complaining about, and make sure to include the date of submission.
— ALEX GRANOVSKY
Not only that, but they will use what you don’t say against you! If you made the above complaints, and later sue for discrimination, HR will testify that you complained, but never mentioned discrimination when you did. The company’s lawyer will then argue that, because you did not raise the issue of discrimination in your complaint, surely you were not discriminated against. A friend might understand why you did not raise the issue of discrimination in your complaint, but HR would not. You know why? Because HR is not your friend.
Since Now You Know HR is Not Your Friend, Don’t Make Them Your “Friend” on Social Media Either.
Obviously, HR has a legitimate function in the workplace and responding to work-related issues. But you need to keep your work and personal lives separate. So, even if you are professional in the workplace, you should not open your personal life and activities to scrutiny by “friending” or “connecting” with someone in HR on any social media other than professional sites such as LinkedIn. Something that may seem amusing or funny to your personal friends, could reflect poorly on you to your work colleagues.
So How Should I Interact With HR?
Be professional. Let how you acted when you interviewed for your job help guide you. When you first met your HR professional, you would not have discussed how you think your boss is an idiot or how your kid doesn’t listen to you. Let HR get to know you through your actions as a valued member of the employer’s team. Let the following be your mantra when it comes to sharing your personal life with HR: less is more.
If you would like to discuss your situation with us, including whether you should sign an agreement with such a provision, please feel free to call or email us at any time. You will be on the phone with an attorney within 24 hours.